In my role as the Time Tamer, I work with busy working women to minimise their stress and maximise their time. I’ve been in a situation myself where I have felt overwhelmed, overworked, where I’m juggling responsibilities of raising small children, getting a business off the ground, trying to do a demanding job, holding the family, together managing the finances, and being the backbone of a family.
I felt really alone through the most difficult times. Fortunately, I’ve developed some systems and processes to be able to help women in similar situations like this.
I recently saw an article of a busy professional, successful woman talking about how she has been shamed publicly, by a group of women criticising her mothering skills. That moment of absolute overwhelm was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her. She burst into tears.
When I shared this story in a big social media forum, I was overwhelmed by how many women have similar experiences or could relate to the story.
One mother said “My heart breaks for this poor mum being subjected to this and sadly she is not alone. Yes indeed, mums are often harsh critics of other mums and in the workplace women are often the harshest critics of other women.”
Another Mum, Reem, said ” Everyone had their own demons they battle each day, and kindness is free – why insist on being horrible and making someone’s day that bit more difficult? And I’d agree with mums being the harshest critics of other mums, there’s just so much judgment and sanctimonious bullshit that goes on and it’s so stupid, as everybody ends up anxious and unhappy and nobody wins”
Women were pouring out their heart and their own stories of being shamed in public for their parenting skills, already overwhelmed with so many external pressures.
My own story (that I share in the video below) is not dissimilar.
“I was shopping in the supermarket and my sons at the time were about 2 and 3. I was trying to concentrate on my purchasing and I noticed a man next to me scowling at my kids. I asked, “I’m sorry did my kids do something to you?”. “Bloody bung knee”. It seems my oldest boy had jumped off the trolley and it rolled back and knocked his “bung” knee. I asked my son to apologise to the man. He did so very sincerely and asked if the man if he was okay. The man growled (I don’t remember what) and totally ignored my son and reprimanded me.
I said, “My son just apologised to you, please acknowledge him”. He replied, “Your kids need a good smack in the face”. “Excuse me!!!!” I said. “You can’t control your bloody kids” and walked off. I demanded he come back and tell me how I should be bringing up my kids if he’s such an expert. By this stage, people are staring.
Then my tantrum-prone 2-year-old picks up a soda water bottle and throws it to the floor. It hisses and spins in a circle. I burst into tears and leave.
I feel for every mother faced with public persecution.
Now my story is not unique, there are lots of women that I have had similar situations. Most women hit breaking point when they are exhausted by being EVERYTHING for EVERYONE.” @barbclifford
The first person that get’s the least amount of attention is themselves.
If you’re feeling like that, or if you’re feeling emotionally depleted, I don’t want you to diminish your value. and your self-worth. I want you to look at opportunities where you can reduce your stress and empower yourself.
Know that you’ve got this!
There are times when it’s going to be difficult and people are going to criticise you, but you focus on what makes you, YOU! Focus on your own self-worth and your own value. What can you contribute to your family, to your children into the world around you, because you do have something to contribute. I know we’re not perfect but there’s certainly a lot of GOOD things we can do.